Making a Wrong Turn

(supposedly a true story)

    During a departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale, things got fouled up on US Air Flight 2771, when the crew made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.  The irate ground controller (a female) lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming “US Air 2771, where are you going?  I told you to turn right on “C”; you turned right on “D” taxiway.  Stop right there.  I know it’s difficult to tell the difference between Cs and Ds but get it right.”

    Continuing her lashing to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically, “You’ve screwed everything up; it’ll take forever to sort this out.  You stay right there and don’t move until I tell you to.  You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about a half hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I you.  You got that, US Air 2771??”

    The humbled crew responded: “Yes Ma’am”.

    The “ground control” frequency went terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air Flight 2771.  No one wanted to engage the irate ground controller in her current state.  In a busy location where minutes seem like hours, 90 seconds went by with complete silence.  Aircraft were stacking everywhere on LaGuardia’s taxiways.

    Finally, after what appeared to be an eternity, an unknown Captain from another airline, feeling sorry for the US Air Crew, came up “unannounced” on the radio and asked:

    “You sound familiar - wasn’t I married to you once?”

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